I enjoyed my cognitive dissonance because I’m the “cool” girl. He’ll get to experience her “downward dog.”īut you know what? I dealt with it. Two games, guys, TWO of sneak boob shots, butt shots, long legs, sexual innuendos whispered into cell phones, and a long and eventual promise that if Travis participates he’ll get to taste her. Based on an erotic film actress, she prances around with her glowing blonde hair and skimpy clothes, teasing Travis every step of the way. Then of course there’s Sylvia, Miss Mastermind, driving force behind the assassin games. Every time he receives money, life-energy, or an upgrade, he hisses, “Mooooooooeeeeeeee!” reminding us that he is driven by carnal pleasure-and just to make sure we ALL remember, there’s the recharging of his beam-katana, which requires shaking the Wii-mote as hard as you can, just to show how efficient you are at stroking one out. He’s obsessed with moe, a Japanimation style I can only describe as this incredible elixir of hentai and pedophilia, which almost acts as a life force for him. Not another high-and-mighty piece about how men are fucking everything up… but look, they are. The sequel apparently heard our collective cry and delegated all money tasks to ‘optional,’ reimagining all the tasks as 8-bit mini-games from the late 80s-but the largest criticism I’ve had for this series is maybe a large aspect of what it is most heralded for: its casual misogyny. Picking up coconuts, pumping gas, and all that? That got a little too real for me. Like for real, fuck that motorcycle and all those menial tasks you had to do in order to earn enough money to enter the next fight. Of course, there were low points of both the original and the sequel. And each new assassin offered an exciting turn. The rhythmic bashing of A tossed in with a few Bs, swinging the ‘mote and operating the nun-chuck as opponents scream, “My spleeeen!” before exploding into blood, guts, and coinage-oh, honey, it stirred every part of my gaming bloodlust. But eventually I made the leap and fell hard for the art of Travis Touchdown. Admittedly, I was a bit late to the franchise, and a bit late to the Wii in general, as I’ve been busy blowing all my money on Playstation consoles. The game follows Travis, an aspiring assassin whose dream is to fight his way through the United Assassins Association until he is number one. No More Heroes, created by the enigmatic Suda51, is arguably one of the most entertaining action-adventure/hack-n-slash franchises to ever hit the Wii.
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